Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Practical Jokes

The Magnet Toys and Fancy goods store, at 179 Wavertree Road in Liverpool, sold an amazing array of stuff. In this post I'll just list off some of the jokes they had for sale.

As you entered the shop, to the left, was a display cabinet, on top of the counter, in there the numerous jokes were stored, some benign and some downright trouble.

The most trouble, were the stink bombs, a packet of three in a little cardboard box, these thin glass vials usually smelled like rotten eggs when broken and were very popular amongst young lads. The occasional bomb would "go off" in the front of the shop and usually it didn't take much reasoning to work out who did it.

I liked the fake things, which were many, there were fake rubber/latex fried eggs which seemed almost real, something to place on your grandads plate and giggle, fake food items like bacon, sausage and seagull poo. The latter not being a food item of course could be placed on a car windscreen, other car jokes included bullet holes that could be applied.

The list was amazing, cigarettes that glowed and puffed out smoke, which was fine talc, little, round cardboard containers of sneezing or itching powder (which was usually finely chopped hair) and of course, the exploding snake in a can.

I think a lot of these can still be bought today, such is the longevity of a good prank, although some, like the rubber pencil, would be difficult to fool someone with, or the little camera that squirted water. I think kids might see through stuff like the fortune telling fish that curled in your hand due to heat and I would expect that schools have long since banned the whoopee cushion.

The more distasteful items, such as the fake dog poo, that actually looked very realistic, fake boils and spots that could be stuck on your face, and I believed, as a kid, that the nail through the finger item, especially with the bloody bandage, was one of the more horrific items.

The list could go on, of course, there were more expensive items that I never had, but could play with in the shop, like the laughing bag or the hand buzzer, and then there were items that I would have liked to use, black face soap, red face soap, floating sugar cubes and melting teaspoons, but, pocket money would only stretch so far.

And I only, really needed those stinkbomben...

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Ice Cream


The Ice Cream van was a daytime distraction for my dad, taxi work was always busy in the evenings and he was looking for something to make money with during the day.

In Whiston, mum and dad had a shop on Milton Avenue and mum would look after that during the day while dad was out on the Ice Cream round. Occasionally I would help out in both places, although the van was far more exciting than the shop.

The van was equipped with a soft serve machine, so it had to be loaded periodically with industrial sized portions of the mix, that was subsequently cooled and then extruded through the taps. I think the machine had the ability to do two colours but it was never loaded that way, so ice cream would be made more exotic with crushed nuts and raspberry or chocolate syrup.

The options were cone or cup, and of course, in addition to those toppings the deluxe version would include a Cadbury's Chocolate flake, called a ninety-nine for some reason, the occasional mega deluxe version would include two flakes, not sure what they were called (besides expensive).

The end of the shift would be marked with the extraction of what was left in the soft serve machine into a big stainless steel bowl, and, what the family did not want was always a treat for our alsation dog, Sooty.